What is Coaching all about?
Coaching is not about giving advise. It is a conversation that is held in a safe space or environment for the client to explore different possibilities, to raise consciousness, to overcome limitations and to allow the client to perform as an authentic being, be it in an executive position, leadership role and life in general. It allows the client and coach to develop a professional trusted relationship. The client has the opportunity to access their own strengths and wisdom to find better solutions to problems through observation of self and reflective and mindfulness practice.
There are many coaching models, framework, tools and techniques that are used to assist clients to look at their own operating system and the internal programmes that run unconsciously. The process of coaching is necessary to create a structure to guide the coaching relationship and to look at these programmes. The process includes contracting about time, confidentiality, duration of sessions and rules for the coaching sessions. The coach uses questions to challenge the client in a trusting manner to assist in changing perspectives, bringing to the client’s awareness about old patterns of behaviour that might be limiting their performance as executives, leaders and people.
“Isn’t there a way to break the patterns of behaviour of the past and tune into our highest future possibility and begin to operate from that place”. Otto Scharmer
Amongst other skills, listening is an important part of the coaching process. Active listening enables a generative dialogue to take place where the coach listens to the client without judgement, without interrupting paying attention and focusing on what the client is saying. Otto Scharmer speaks about listening with an open mind, an open heart and an open will. We often listen from habits of opinions and judgment, noticing differences, want to react to what is being said as we to begin to actively listen then we listen with empathy, seeing through someone else’s eyes connecting to the individual.
“The woman who follows the crowd will usually goes no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has been before.” Albeit Einstein.
Given the context above, how do we as women function in the world today. As women we are at different stages of our lives but still have a myriad of responsibilities to take care of on a daily basis, as a house holder, executive or leader. Coaching can bring to our awareness that we need to be grounded, mindful of how we extend ourselves and very often how we actually over extend ourselves to meet the needs of everyone, except our own needs. It also could help to find a balance between highly
“The quality of the things we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do” Nancy Kline.
Coaching is a listening and thinking partnership with a trusted professional helping us to take an inner journey and to find the pearls of wisdom that lies within us. As women, we cover that wisdom with layers of limitations by the stories we run internally that we are not good enough. Through coaching interventions we learn to: observe what triggers us, understand our personality and that of others that we lead, listen to what our bodies are trying to tell us somatically, how to function when our system is distracted, and thus we began a new way of being, owning our confidence and resilience, leading to a purposeful life.
As women we need to connect not to our power but to our authentic power. For me that means to nurture and empower others by firstly seeing value in yourself and others, through respect, truth, integrity, honesty and not forgetting love and compassion for all beings.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style.” Maya Angelou
Thina Balakistnen
Integral Coach Practitioner providing Leadership and Personal Coaching Services